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Writing Again
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Yay! I've actually put words on paper today.

Richard and I had one hell of a humdinger of a row which led to him saying he was leaving and me throwing him out (I'm not sure which came first but we both got out bit in) and since my daughter's staying at her boyfriend's, I'm here on my own. For some reason, the row seemed to loosen up whatever was stopping the writing from flowing and I'm thundering along. 1,300 words this evening.

Linn Marie and I had a great time in Blackpool. I have to admit that I was dreading it because of the weather we'd been having but about half way up the M6, the clouds parted and then sun came out. The evening was beautiful so we went for a short walk on the front and central pier before retiring to the hotel bar for a Baileys on ice.

That night I woke to the sound of howling winds and lashing rain. I couldn't believe it! We were there to go shopping but surely we couldn't enjoy it in that kind of weather? I went back to sleep feeling less than happy. But low and behold, but the time morning came the sky was blue and the wind had dropped to a breeze. More than enough money was spent but we enjoyed ourselves. Mothers and daughters just have to do the shopping thing now and then, don't they?

That evening we had a beautiful dinner at an Italian restaurant in Cleveleys before heading back into Blackpool for the Hot Ice show out at The Pleasure Beach. Talk about impressed! I loved every second of it and so did LM. Well worth £20 so if you're ever in Blackpool and you like that kind of thing, do give it a try.

Once LM has taken the photographs off of her camera, I'll post some. She's quite a funky little photographer, even if I do say so myself :-)

I didn't tell you I lost my engagement ring, did I? It was a couple of weeks ago now. I was having dinner when I suddenly noticed that my ring had gone. I'd changed the bedding and flipped the mattress earlier so was hoping it was either under the bed or stuck between the mattress and the base, but as I can't move the bed, I couldn't find it. I felt awful - as if it was a bad omen. That our relationship wouldn't last.

And what happened? A big barny and Richard's gone walk-about. It's not as if this hasn't happened before but this time it feels more serious. Richard blames it all on me because I get annoyed at his untidiness. I guess he tries but I really can't stand an untidy living room or kitchen. Maybe I'm a bit extreme when it comes to this but things that aren't in their places stress me out. It's the control freak in me, I guess.

My problems suddenly disolved into nothing when I visited Karen Lee Field's blog. Her 18 year old son has committed suicide. God knows how a mother can ever deal with something like that and I really can't stop thinking of her and the pain she must be suffering right now.

My daughter, Inger Lise, had a boyfriend who took his life when he was just 17. Went into the forest, found a tree and hanged himself. Nobody knew anything had been wrong.

Why do these things happen? Why do people have to suffer? Both those who take their lives and those who are left behind?

I'm sorry, but that news really hit me quite hard.

Posted by Sharon J on 11:50 PM   

Blogger Cherry Rolfe said...

Oh Sharon I am so sorry you are having a bad time at the moment. I visited Karen's blog. How terribly sad. Several years ago a friend's daughter hanged herself and I also have a friend whose son 'disappeared' from a ferry. The whole world shakes.
I hope you and Richard make up. If that is what you want.

12:34 PM   

Blogger Karen Erickson said...

I'm so sorry Sharon. Suicide is never easy to understand. I certainly don't understand it.

Sorry about the engagement ring, sorry about the fight. I hope you two can work it out.

3:47 PM   

Blogger Maxine said...

My empathies.
I just seem to live in a life of permanent inner and actual chaos.
I do hope things calm down a bit and that you still manage to write when they do!
I am afraid I cannot visit the blog you mention about the poor woman whose son has died, but my heart goes out to her.
Hope things go well for you, Sharon, good luck.

6:21 PM   

Anonymous Sharon J said...

It must be a cruel world we live in when so many young people choose to opt out of it. We mothers have such aspirations for our children when we bring them into the world, don't we? The last thing we expect is for them to choose to leave it in such a violent way before they've even had a chance to mature. God help us all.

8:43 AM   

Blogger Eva said...

Sometimes the world just seems to fall apart, reinforcing how precarious are our puny attempts to hold it together.

I wonder what effect your mood of late is having on your writing. Good for you for getting the words down, regardless.

1:30 PM   

Blogger Debi said...

Well however this all pans out, Sharon, I hope it's good for you. You're so right about getting things in proportion and being grateful for the positive stuff in our lives.
A close friend who took his own life said that he loved life but didn't know how to live it. How appalling must that feel? And how devastating it always is for those left behind who are forever condemned to deal with the inevitable guilt (even when there can be no possible justification for it) as well as the grief and loss.

11:43 AM   

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